The period right after the breakup can be extremely difficult, especially if you parted ways on bad terms. Over time, things do get better and you begin to heal emotionally. This, however, doesn’t mean that you don’t miss the time you spent with your former partner and the memories you made together. At times, such thoughts might even result in you doubting the decision to break up.
You are here because you still don’t know why you should never get back with your ex. Do they deserve a second chance? Could there be something better in the end? Maybe not. But maybe yes.
Before you offer up promises to deities, make pacts with devils, swear on religious texts, consider the fact that life might end up being better without that person. Sometimes it’s difficult to see what’s on the other side of that emotional wall, and it might be difficult to consider at first, but here are some of the reasons why you should never go back to your ex.
- You would be settling.
It doesn’t matter who initiated the breakup, the bottom line is that it happened. It happened because it wasn’t serving anyone well. Maybe you thought it isn’t working out or that you deserve better.
So, going back to the same person now would be a clear case of settling, denying yourself the happiness and mental peace you deserve, and mostly from finding yourself someone new and discovering much more.
- You left them for a reason.
You got together, gave it a try and it failed. Some people simply don’t work together. You may still have feelings for this person, but it doesn’t change the fact that you are not as compatible as you first imagined — or that you may now be relapsing to imagine.
If you let your ex go once, let him or her go forever.
- There are still unresolved issues between you both.
An important question to ask yourself is, were the issues that caused the break-up addressed? If not, it will be a repeat and/or there will be a continuation of relational challenges. Spare yourself the trouble, especially when you know that your ex is not willing to put in the work to have the matter(s) resolved.
Taking your ex back would also mean that you may inherit additional issues that will not get resolved and again will lead to the demise of the relationship. You don’t want to keep spinning yourself in a circle.
- You’re both still carrying the baggage from your relationship.
Emotional baggage weighs down each of us. Thankfully, the suitcase becomes lighter as time goes on; older memories are whitewashed by new ones. The problem is, when you do decide to get back together with an ex, your baggage seems to start gaining weight, and quickly.
All those bad memories you had of fights, all those things that annoyed you about the person and all the things you did to hurt each other all come back. It doesn’t all come back at once, but in big waves. The fights start up again and a few long months later, you’re back where you started: broken.
- Some things do not change.
The basic nature of a person doesn’t change overnight. You shouldn’t fall for any changes that you notice. You might get into the same cycle and situations.
If you’re in such a situation, it is important to ask yourself why these changes didn’t come about when you were still together. This question will put things in perspective for you.
- You will end up in the same cycle
You’ve probably noticed people breaking up, getting back together and then separating all over again. If anything, you’ve been a part of such a cycle yourself.
Fall back on your experience instead of repeating the same mistake and making this cyclic. It is only going to cost you your mental sanity.
- Remember the hurt.
Are you still wondering why you should never go back to your ex? Remember how you hurt each other which probably sparked the breakup. Maybe you still love each other but you two aren’t a good match. Maybe, try to grow self-love before you try to love someone else. That’s going to be helpful and healthier for everyone involved in a relationship.
It’s a nightmare that the one you love can be the one who hurt you brutally. Also, the one who loves you may be the one you hurt too. Just like, no matter how big the love is, little things can lead you into a heartbreaking story. Then, maybe you both don’t suppose to be together, cause you both just hurt each other silently.
- The trust you had has been shattered.
Trust is incredibly important in a relationship. It’s literally the most fundamental thing in a relationship. It’s difficult to construct and even more difficult to put back together once the trust has been broken.
Do you want to be in a relationship where the trust is lacking and you’re never 100 percent sure that your partner won’t turn and run from you? Think for yourself and decide.
- Sometimes, it’s just not meant to be.
People make mistakes every day and that’s just okay. But maybe he was the wrong person to love. You loved them so much till it hurt. That you love them so much to fall apart. That you just love them so much but you don’t know what to do and what to be.
It might not be wrong, but it might be not meant together.
- You will find someone better.
You will find someone better than your ex. You will be with someone better who wants to work for a real good relationship where you both can accept each other, love each other, till the end of the day.
Don’t believe Adele when she sang, “never mind I’ll find someone like you”. No, you don’t want to be with your ex cause you need to grow with someone better. So, just please don’t go back to your ex!