Things to remember when you’re hurting

One thing that connects us as human beings is our ability to feel pain. Whether that pain is physical or emotional, we all have experiences of being hurt. What separates us though, is how we deal with that pain.

One of the best ways to heal from hurts is to learn lessons from the situation and use those to focus on growth and forward momentum. If we get stuck in thinking about what “should have been,” we can become immobilized in painful feelings and memories.

If you are going through the hurt right now, then we’re not going to tell you that the hurt will go away tomorrow, because it won’t, but it will in time. So, in the meantime, here are a few things to bear in mind, until things get better for you:

You are allowed to be sad.

There are going to be days when you feel too broken to be fixed, when the ache lingers in your heart. You are permitted to feel and sit with your pain for as long as it takes, because that is the only way you can process it. You are entitled to your feelings. You are allowed to be in tears and cry your eyes out. It is okay to feel the burden of the pain you have been carrying.

After all, you are only human. Your sadness is your own and you don’t owe anyone an explanation.

Allow the negative emotions to flow.

If your fear of feeling negative emotions is causing you to avoid them, don’t worry, you’re not alone. In fact, many people are afraid of feelings such as grief, anger, disappointment, or sadness. Rather than feeling them, people just try to shut them out, which can disrupt the process of letting go.

But you need to understand that these negative emotions are like riptides. Let them flow out of you. It may require mental health intervention, but fighting them can leave you stuck.

Stop going over things in your mind.

You can’t change anything by thinking over and over again about how you might have done things differently, or how things could’ve gone differently. What has happened, has happened. You can’t do anything about it so you might as well try to accept what is. You might think that this will help you come to terms with what has happened but, at some point, you must let go and move on.

The worst thing that you can do is to dwell on the past, so remember to bring yourself back to the present and occupy your mind with things going on now.

Your heart knows how to heal.

Our hearts have a way of recovering even when the pain we experience seems endless. You will heal, maybe not right now or tomorrow, but someday soon. Your heart will heal from your past, disappointments, and grief and find a way to continually beat for the things that set your soul on fire.

No matter how many times you have been hurt before, your heart will find a reason to beat and make you feel alive. You will find reasons to smile again and work your way up. Yes, it won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.

Life is unpredictable.

And for the most part, that is the beauty of it. There will be things that you cannot control, and you are going to end up with quite a lot of mistakes. But you need to learn to let them go when it’s due. The beauty of this is how every experience will lead you into finding yourself.

The lessons you learn from those will forever be an experience you would not have otherwise known. The only way you will flourish in life is if you are brave enough to face the challenges that life throws at you.

This too shall pass.

Even when the urge of ripping yourself apart gets too strong, be patient and hold on. Even when you know nobody wants to offer you a shoulder to cry on, keep your head up and walk alone. Because every day is a fresh day to start anew; every day is a new opportunity to piece your broken heart together.

Tomorrow could be the day something beautiful happens. Tomorrow could be the day you finally move past the hurt which you thought you could never. Nothing ever stays the same — these feelings will pass, so take heart to weather this storm. Wipe your tears and hug yourself. You will ache, but you will also withstand. You will always be more than your pain.

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