If you find yourself spending too much time looking into the rearview mirror of life, well, know that you’re not alone. We’ve all been there.
There are often roadblocks, plateaus, and valleys along the way where you can get into a slump. Or a rut. And you can feel like you’ve simply lost your motivation somewhere along the way. Just as after the rain the sun rises, or after a long night a new day full of opportunities begins to shine; your problems and worries will also pass, they will go away, and happiness will return to your life.
Problems and heartaches in life are inevitable. However, there are some things to remember when you’re right in the thick of it that can help you get through it. Here are some friendly reminders to keep in mind when going through a rough patch.
- Pain is part of growing.
Sometimes life closes doors because it’s time to move forward. And that’s a good thing because we often won’t move unless circumstances force us to. When times are tough, remind yourself that no pain comes without a purpose. Move on from what hurt you, but never forget what it taught you. Everything is going to come together; maybe not immediately, but eventually.
Remember that there are two kinds of pain: pain that hurts and pain that changes you. When you roll with life, instead of resisting it, both kinds help you grow.
- This too shall pass.
If things are good now, enjoy them, for they won’t last forever. In the same way, if things are bad, don’t worry, because they won’t last forever either.
Sometimes life’s rough patches feel like they’re going to last forever. Whether you’re dealing with work-related issues, family problems, or stressful situations, very few problems last for a lifetime. So, remind yourself that things won’t be this bad forever.
- You can’t control what happens to you.
There are many things that aren’t within your control. But you’re in control of your own actions. That means you should do your best to cope with a bad situation. It might not be fair. And it might not be your fault. But it’s your responsibility to deal with whatever life throws at you.
You can’t change the past, another person’s behavior, or a loved one’s health issues. Investing time and energy into trying to things you can’t will cause you to feel helpless and exhausted. Acceptance is one of the best way to establish resilience.
- Don’t let negativity bring you down.
Be positive when negativity surrounds you. Smile when others try to bring you down. It’s an easy way to maintain your enthusiasm and focus. Don’t ever let someone else’s bitterness change the person you are.
People are going to talk regardless of what you do or how well you do it. So, worry about yourself before you worry about what others think.
- Much of this won’t matter in a few years.
Most of the problems we worry about today won’t actually matter five years from now. Remind yourself that whatever is going wrong now is only a small percentage of your actual life.
Even if you’re dealing with a major problem, like a loved one’s illness, remember that a lot of good things are likely to happen in the course of a year or two as well.
- What is meant to be, will be.
You can’t force things to happen. At some point you will have to let go and allow what is meant to be, to actually be.
In the end, loving your life is about trusting your intuition, taking risks, losing and finding happiness, cherishing memories, and learning from experience. It’s a long journey. You have to stop worrying and doubting every step you take along the way. Laugh at the confusion, live consciously in the moment, and enjoy your life as it unfolds. You may not end up exactly where you intend to go, but you will likely arrive precisely where you need to be.
- You don’t have to see the silver lining.
Too much positivity can be toxic. Sometimes, shitty things happen. There’s no real reason for them, and there’s nothing to learn from them. If remaining positive helps you get through the bad times, that’s great — but don’t force positivity when you’re sad.
You’re allowed to be upset when something horrible happens to you. Let yourself feel those feelings. Don’t push them away or invalidate them.