We all deal with insecurity at some point or another; it’s a natural way to try to gauge whether our ventures will be successful or end badly for us. But in daily life, being too insecure to attempt even small tasks, such as speaking honestly to friends, limits your ability to enjoy the time you have on earth.
Life is constantly changing and anything that is stable today may be broken or gone tomorrow. But if you make yourself powerful, you can always rebuild, overcome, and keep moving forward by your own will, and find happiness wherever you go.
The good news is there are ways to build up your self-esteem. While it won’t happen overnight, with the right strategies and mindset, you can take steps toward changing the way you feel about yourself.
- Accept yourself.
Accept that asking for approval from others for exactly what it is. We all seek approval and it is natural to be very aware about how others respond to us.
Seek inner validation from yourself to reveal the best version of who you are. It starts with self-knowledge and knowing who you really are as a divine creation having a human experience.
- Practice positive self-talk.
It is especially hard to notice negative self-talk if you have been doing it for a long time. If you’re always telling yourself that you’re a loser, a failure, or that you can’t do anything right, then you’re bound to feel that way forever.
Instead, work on telling yourself positive things about yourself so you’re more likely to attack new tasks with a healthymindset and a desire to do well. A helpful exercise to get you more comfortable with positive self-talk and to rein in your self-abuse is to tell yourself two sincerely nice things about yourself for every negative thing.
- Change your perspective.
Ask yourself: Can I see insecurity with compassion and kindness? When feeling troubled with insecurities, treat yourself as you would treat your best friend going through this same quandary.
Do more of the things that make you feel good about yourself. Celebrate yourself as the person that you are. Praising yourself for the good but also acknowledging and living in awareness for the not-so-good is key to inner confidence.
- Stop perfectionism.
Perfectionism comes from a common limiting belief that we aren’t worthy of love unless everything we do is perfect – and if you can’t let it go, you’ll never learn how to overcome insecurity.
When we let go of perfectionism, we discover that it is actually the lowest standard we can have, because it leaves no room for growth. Allow yourself room to breathe, fail and grow, and you’ll discover valuable lessons about how to get over insecurities.
- Stop comparing yourself to other people.
One of the best ways to guarantee that you’ll be insecure is to compare yourself to the people you know, or even to the people you see online. If you do that, you’re sure to find a way to make yourself feel ugly, poor, unsuccessful, or a number of other unflattering things just because you feel like you can never measure up to other people.
Instead, focus on the things that would make your life better by your own standards, not by anyone else’s. The grass is always greener, and the person who you may think is perfect and has it all together may be wishing he or she were someone else.
- Take care of your needs first.
If you’re always looking after everyone else’s needs and forgetting your own, you’re not valuing yourself enough. Adding in more self-care to your daily routine can help you counter negative thoughts and build up your self-worth.
Here are some ways you can show yourself some love:
- Nurture your body by getting a massage or facial.
- Do your favorite workout at least 30 minutes each day.
- Unplug from your phone or take a social media detox.
- Treat yourself to a nourishing meal.
- Reflect on the good.
Emotions are never right or wrong, they simply exist. We always need some sort of emotion to function. Treat each moment and each thought for its brilliance and be mindful and thankful for each and every emotion.
Self-kindness helps in overcoming insecurities and it all starts with self-knowledge and then radical self-acceptance. The more gratitude we give, the happier we feel.
- Focus on baby steps.
Overcoming insecurity and building up your self-esteem don’t happen overnight. Try to be kind to yourself during this process and don’t get discouraged if things aren’t improving as fast as you’d like them too.
Even if you don’t feel confident today, the small baby steps you are taking now will eventually grow into bigger steps and keep you moving forward.