How to deal with one-sided love

Have you loved someone and their feelings have not been the same for you? Maybe you have started to fall for a friend, but they only ever see you as just a friend? Unrequited love, or most commonly known as one-sided love, can be devastating, especially when you feel so strongly about someone.

It’s completely normal to feel sad, disappointed, and a bit lost when someone you love doesn’t reciprocate your feelings. Whether your love was completely unrequited or you put in more effort than your partner did, a one-sided relationship is tough to get over.

It might not feel like it now, but moving on with your life will make you stronger, more independent, and ready to meet someone who really loves you. Focusing on these will help you cope with your one-sided love, move on and feel like yourself again.

Allow Yourself to Grieve

Unrequited love is a loss. And it is normal to feel grief, anger, denial, and all the other things a person might feel after loss. Your feelings about the person you love are real, and the hopes you had had are real.

If the person you love isn’t interested, continuing to pursue them is both disrespectful to them and hurtful to you, as it delays your ability to heal. But there’s nothing pathetic about feeling deep sadness when a love you feel deeply isn’t returned. It’s okay to mourn.

Distract Yourself

When you first realize you are dealing with unrequited love it can be easy to get stuck at home, pondering on things and wishing to change it, but this is not going to help you in any way. Try and distract yourself by doing things that you enjoy.

Whether it’s watching your favorite TV series, painting, spending time with friends or just a hobby that you love, it can really help. Not only are you distracting yourself from thinking about this person, you are always doing things that you enjoy and may even find new hobbies that you like too. If you also like to exercise or get outside this can also be a great way to feel more positive as it gets your endorphins flowing.

Reduce Contact

Going without any contact, at least for a little while, can help you heal. While it’s totally possible to stay friends with the object of your one-sided love, trying to keep up the relationship right away could be more painful. Let the person know that you need some space, and take some time for yourself.

It’s up to you to decide how long you stay away. Some people might only need a few weeks, while other people might need a few years (or even longer).

Reach Out to Others

Friends and family can really support you through a lot, so try and spend time with them if you can. Reaching out to people who care about you is a great way to process what has happened and hopefully start to move on from it.

Try and speak to your family or friends about what has happened and then listen to any advice or kind words that they give you. They know you best and can treat you a lot better than you may be treating yourself.  In addition, they can try and give you the best ways to deal with the situation and also remind you of the positives.

Love Yourself and Practice Self-Care

One of the best things to do when dealing with unrequited love is to make sure that you still show yourself love. It’s always important to love yourself, and it can be harder to do when you are dealing with someone not loving you back.

Do whatever makes you feel cared for and happy. If you like to meditate and relax, try and do this more often, have some ‘me time’ to do what makes you happy. Show yourself some self-care and focus on yourself, not the other person.

Accept and Let Go

It is very important to understand, accept and let go of the fact that they’re not the one for you. Even if you still love them, the relationship isn’t fulfilling. It’s okay to hold onto those feelings for a little while, but try to convince yourself that they aren’t your soulmate. It might take some time, but you can move on from a person that you loved.

If you catch yourself yearning for the person again, remember how you felt when you realized your love was one-sided. It will help you make a clean break and stop fantasizing about them.

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