Healthy love feels like a breath of fresh air. It feels safe and comfortable. You feel like you can talk about anything and be your own self. But when this love is obsessive, it always feels like you are walking on eggshells. You never feel right about it. You feel like you are just one step away from making it worse.
It is amazing when the man in your life is everything that you have been dreaming of and that he gives you all of his love and support. But there are people who can easily get obsessed with their partner and turn their love into obsessive love.
Here are 10 signs of obsessive love:
- They stalk you.
A relationship is all about trust. But there are some people who have this habit of keeping track of their lover’s activities. And thanks to social media, stalking a person is as easy as keeping track of activities in your own home.
The stalking behavior of your lover can start with something simple like tracking your live location using GPS for your safety to something as intense as landing at your friend’s party without any invitation just because he wants to be with you. Remember, this toxic behavior of your lover should not be confused with concern and love.
- They seem to know you, but you don’t really know them.
A person who’s genuinely in love with you will give you the chance to know them well, too. You’ll know what they like or dislike, where they work and where they hang out. This is because you took the time to know him/her and fall for them, as they were also taking the time to get to know and fall for you.
But someone who is obsessed with you, on the other hand, will likely know a lot about you while you may not know much about them at all. You’ll feel weird and mostly creeped out.
- They’re very possessive.
In obsessive love, there is a clear lack of any boundary. They don’t respect your privacy or space. And are repeatedly texting you or calling you to know about your whereabouts. They always want to know who you are spending time with or talking to. They feel jealous if you spend time with someone other than them.
But in healthy love, they understand that they don’t possess you. They don’t feel insecure when you spend time with someone else other than them.
- They’re clingy.
Most relationships have a picture-perfect beginning where the lovers want to share every detail of their daily life with each other. It feels nice when they spend a lot of time with you at the beginning of your relationship. But when it is too much, it is simply too much. They need to understand that you have your own life and that sometimes you might feel like being alone.
Does your partner often demand your attention for every minute thing? He/she wants both to spend every moment together? Basically, your partner wants your world to revolve around him/her. Such clingy behavior can be considered a red flag.
- They get jealous easily.
Jealousy is an obsessed person’s best friend. Take it as a warning sign if your partner gets offended or grows jealous for trivial reasons like someone complimenting you or you spending an evening with friends.
Jealousy and insecurity get worse when a person starts acting suspiciously to satisfy his/her whims and fancy. It’s better to avoid such people.
- They intrude your privacy.
Obsession often leads to suspicion and a direct lack of privacy. Does the person you are with demand to have all the passwords to your social media accounts? If so, there is a good chance that they are completely and utterly obsessed with you.
Everyone needs a certain amount of privacy, even in a relationship. Privacy doesn’t equal secrecy, and it’s crucial that you understand this.
- They hate rejection.
Obsessive partners just can’t understand that, “No,” means, “No”. They need to let you go do things in your own way. That is a good thing and we all need it, even if we are in a relationship. Your free time is what you need and what you deserve so don’t let anyone tell you what you have to do.
If you catch yourself in a situation like this, try to talk to him in a normal and calm way. If that doesn’t work, I guess he/she is not the right one for you!
- They don’t respect your personal space.
One common trait of an obsessive person is that they don’t have a life of their own. It’s never fun to have someone breathing down your neck, right? It can also be very irritating when your lover spends too much time with you, leaving you with no opportunity to socialize with anyone else, including friends and family.
A person who has no respect for your space should have no place in your life, right?
- They threaten/manipulate you if you try to leave them.
Obsessive lovers are very sneaky. They just blackmail you because they know that you love them and that you won’t let them harm themselves. They need to know that they can’t do that to you and later tell you they love you. That is not love, it is manipulation and it is not healthy.
Such manipulative people try to keep you close and suck out all your positive energy. And the truth is that they don’t have the guts to do anything and all those stories are just a show for you.
- You feel suffocated in the relationship.
Your partner has decided that they must be with you, near you, and they must treat you a certain way, regardless of what you’ve said you want.
You feel trapped because they don’t seem to feel like they’ll be okay without you. It’s surprisingly scary and smothering to be the subject of someone’s toxic obsession.