Reminders for anyone struggling with Heartbreak

Breakups and the emotions they bring up are complicated. Relief, confusion, heartbreak, grief — all of these are perfectly normal reactions to the end of a relationship. Even if things end in healthy and productive way, you’ll probably still be left with some uncomfortable feelings.

Breakups are often a painful ordeal, but the pain is all the more excruciating when you don’t see it coming. You thought things were going great, and then seemingly out of nowhere your partner breaks it off, leaving you alone with an aching heart.

Finding closure after an unexpected breakup can be incredibly challenging, but here are 8 tips to help you move on after getting dumped.

Allow yourself to feel.

Studies have shown that the brain copes with rejection similarly to the way it processes physical pain. Some may be tempted to numb the pain with drugs and alcohol or jump immediately into another relationship to avoid their feelings. Rather than taking this approach, allow yourself to feel the emotions in their entirety, whatever they may be.

It is natural to grieve after any loss. Even if you avoid the pain initially, eventually you have to face it to heal. By giving yourself time to grieve, you’ll find it easier to obtain the closure you seek and move on with your life.

Take some time apart.

If you’ve decided to end the relationship and you’ve tried everything to fix it, the best thing you can do it block them. It does seem heartless, but it’s the only way you’ll be able to move on. This also includes not stalking their social media profiles. You can’t move on if you constantly have this person in your phone or appearing on your timeline.

Even if you both know you want to maintain a friendship, a little space for some time won’t hurt. Taking a break from texting and hanging out can help you both start healing. Use this time to love yourself and focus only on your needs.

Channel the energy elsewhere.

Rather than sit around and let your anger, sadness, or frustration eat away at you, choose to channel that energy into something productive. Exercise is an excellent way to move energy out of your body and it releases endorphins, which will help improve your mood.

You may also consider getting involved in your community or taking up a new hobby.

Don’t rebound.

One thing you’ve got to learn is that you have to heal after a relationship. Going from person to person doesn’t allow you to heal the wounds and learn the lessons that the previous relationship was meant to show you. A lot of people are repeating the same mistakes because they didn’t allow themselves the time to heal.

Hang out with friends or find a therapist who will listen to you vent. When you’re ready to date again do so, but not before you’ve given yourself time to grieve.

Box up mementos.

It can help to pack up significant reminders of the relationship, including gifts, photographs, or things you bought together. You don’t have to throw these things away. Just set the box aside where you won’t see it all the time.

Down the road, you can take another look and decide what you want to keep and what you don’t.

Stay socially active.

At times, the grief of a breakup may be so strong that you end up being alone. Group support and individual support with friends and family is important. Try not to isolate yourself during this delicate time.

Those closest to you can help you vent but also show you that you’re loved and supported — always.

Find ‘you’ again.

When you’ve been in a relationship, especially long-term, it can be easy to forget yourself. It can be difficult to focus on the positives of coming out of your relationship right now, but you can learn to embrace this time as an opportunity for self-exploration.

Are there any activities you’ve always wanted to try, or places to travel and eat that you couldn’t before? Now’s the time to consider doing these things.

Remember, nobody can make you happy.

The only person that can make you happy is you. People can complement our happiness, but if you put all of your happiness into one person, you will always be left empty and disappointed. I hate when people say that their partner is their other half. NO. You should be complete and the partner should be complete.

Also, each person should be willing to heal their past traumas – don’t be anyone’s peace. Be your own peace and make yourself happy.

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