Why some Friendships just don’t work

Not every friendship lasts forever. Despite what we hope to achieve, best friends are not forever. Sadly, the close bonds we once shared with people that we once considered as family often end. Sometimes with drama and sometimes with no drama at all. That’s life.

And in this age of social media, keeping in touch with your social circle is not easier. It’s harder. People are lonelier in the digital age because social media has diminished our ability to communicate effectively. Young people are spending more time online than interacting with their friends in real life


Losing a friend can be quite painful – even more so than a romantic break-up. However, this does happen and there’s no stopping it. Here are 5 common reasons why friendships don’t work out.

Lack of Communication

Most problems in a friendship have to do with communication breaking down. Sometimes, this happens because you and your friend have very different communication styles, and confusion leads to fighting or bad vibes.

A friendship should be a mutual interaction between two people. When you send a message to someone and they don’t respond or they take forever to respond, like more than a week, it signals the end of an already limping friendship.

Change in Lifestyle

One of the most common reasons great friendships don’t last is because our lives are constantly changing. We may get married, have kids, move, get a new job, or some other big event and as a result it changes both us and our friends.

Even if your friend experiences the same thing as you (marriage, for instance) at the same time, there might be a difference in the way you each look at life from that point on, or a change in the things you’re experiencing. Some friendships can handle this change. In most other friendships, however, change means new ground that can draw a wedge between friends, even when their relationship is seemingly good on the surface.


Friendships should be 50/50, so if one person is more invested and generous than the other, things can turn toxic. If you feel like you’re the one giving everything to keep the friendship going, it’s time to set some firm boundaries and shift your focus toward nurturing your own growth and success.

Remember, a genuine friend will be happy to see you thrive, and will never make you feel guilty for putting yourself first.


People change. Values change. Sometimes a friend changes or you change and you realize you don’t receive the same level of comfort you once did. Or you no longer feel entirely safe around the person you once thought had your best interests at heart.

It is usually a childhood friend or someone you have known for years. The friendship is beginning to drag you down and not lift you up. Sometimes you make it through the difficult patch and remain friends and sometimes the friendship ends. Even though you thought you would be friends forever you realize that maintaining a friendship simply due to its length is no longer a reason to maintain it.

Lack of Trust

Trust is an important part of any good friendship. You want to know that your friend will give you honest advice and support you. Sometimes someone betrays your trust and it is minor or easily forgivable. Sometimes it is harder to forgive. And sometimes you realize the person broke your trust and they don’t care about it all.

They can be forgiven but you have serious doubts about continuing a friendship with someone who you know would either do it again or could not see the seriousness of their actions because they are too selfish or self-involved to care about you. It is not a decision to make lightly but it can be a reason to actively end a friendship with someone.

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