Do and Don’t do on first date

A lot of pressure rides on first dates. They’re basically like interviews, but instead of selling your professional skills, you’re selling your personality, which can feel a lot more daunting. Rather than presenting yourself as employable and capable, you hope to come off as interesting and attractive, which is easier said than done. Basically, a first date is ‘make or break’ when it comes to finding a romantic partner.

Here are much needed dos and don’ts for you to ace your date and potentially score a second one:

Don’t be late.

We’re starting with the basics here, but you’d be surprised how many people don’t value timeliness. Showing up to your first date “fashionably late” isn’t attractive, no matter how busy or in-demand you want to seem. It’s just plain inconsiderate.

Do pick a good location.

It’s not too smart to have your first date in anyone’s living room. If they suggest you just “come over,” steer the date somewhere else. Somewhere you can grab a quick drink or coffee is ideal, especially if it’s in walking distance to other fun activities.

Flexibility is key – if things go south, you’ve got an easy exit. If you’re both having a good time, it’s easy to transition to an evening stroll through downtown.

Don’t be on your phone.

When you’re hanging out with someone, nothing is ruder than them constantly looking at their phone. It instantly shouts, “Whatever is on this screen is more important than you.” That’s possibly the worst message you can send someone who you’re meeting for the first time.

Unless it is an emergency, you do not need to check your phone. Turn your phone on silent, put it away, and give your date your full attention.

Do choose your outfit carefully.

Although it might seem shallow, appearance does make a big difference on a first date. Dressing super casually can give off the vibe that you don’t really care about making a good first impression. Consider the date activity, then dress how you would when meeting friends for the same occasion.

Comfort is key here—wear something that you feel like yourself in, and makes you feel attractive. That ease and confidence will be obvious to your date.

Don’t forget that there’s an actual person in front of you.

The point of a first date is to get to know someone—don’t let this become one-sided by only talking about yourself. You’re trying to impress your date, so it can feel natural to want to spill the beans on all the great things about yourself, but avoid this.

Don’t rattle on and on about yourself. Make sure that the conversation has equal give and take. There is nothing more unattractive than someone who is completely self-absorbed. Ask questions about him and listen to the answers.

Don’t talk about exes or other dates.

You don’t want to seem hung up on anyone– which is how you sound if you bring up your ex. Not a good first impression. It is awkward and makes everyone uncomfortable.

Wait a little longer before you start getting honest about other relationships. It makes you seem a bit hung up on the past and not ready for what is in front of you.

Do use good manners.

Back to that opening-the-door moment, manners, or lack thereof, say a lot about a person. The way you treat people around you during the date is super telling. Saying “please” and “thank you” to waiters or “excuse me” when you bump into someone on the way to the table are all common courtesy behaviors that you should be doing anyway, but especially on a first date when you’re building your character in your date’s eyes. Show that you are courteous to other people.

Don’t bring up difficult topics.

Keeping the conversation light and fun is key. Standard, mundane questions might be enough for the conversation to flow.

Avoid topics on religion, politics, and maybe don’t discuss marriage and children. Your date probably does not need to know what you told your therapist in your last session either, but if they judge you for taking care of your mental health, nobody needs that around.

Do have fun.

Let yourself enjoy getting to know a new person. People are fascinating. Even if they are dull, rude, or just not a good match for you, something is entertaining about the experience (remind yourself about how great the story will be with your friends the next day or in the group text when you get home).

You can look forward to the relief of getting in your car at the end of the date so you can sing Lizzo at the top of your lungs and remind yourself how awesome you are, or day dream about them and look forward to the next date!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.