In our hyper-social culture, which tends to favor outgoing personalities (not to mention nonstop connectivity and networking), there’s an unfortunate stigma that surrounds introverts; it’s generally perceived as less advantageous to be one. But as it turns out, extroverts face an entirely different set of social struggles and judgments.
What are the down sides of being an extrovert? Here are a few struggles listed that every extrovert has to face:
Competitive conversations with other extroverts.
We’ve all seen this. Everyone tries to be the life of the party. No one listens to anyone. Too many chiefs and not enough Indians. There is no give and take in discussion, only take. Everyone gets annoyed, conversation erupts into petty disagreement.
Being an extrovert amongst other extroverts only creates room for competition and the pressure to be the best. It isn’t easy, and definitely agonizing!
For extroverts, trying to be quiet takes more work than talking does. It’s just their second nature. There is so much to talk about, and not enough time in the day to speak about it. They will literally talk about every second of their day so far, every emotion they’ve felt, and every reaction they’ve had.
Sometimes, they don’t even know what they’re going to say until the words have already left their mouths. They’ll only realize about 20 minutes later that they haven’t stopped to breathe, let alone let you speak at all.
Not being allowed to feel sad.
Unlike introverts who get a convenient pass on their bad days, extroverts are expected to be happy and bubbly all the time. And when they’re not, people tend to accuse them of being cranky. Or they assume that they’re throwing a fit as a means of drawing attention to themselves.
Being an extrovert doesn’t mean they’re emotionally bulletproof. They’re only human, and have every right to express their feelings openly without having to explain why they’re behaving in a certain manner.
Don’t always realize they’re being needy or clingy.
Just like how introverts require solitude and alone time, socializing is more of a need than a want for extroverts. They love being around people. It’s entertaining and enjoyable. That doesn’t mean everyone else wants to be around them all of the time.
They could repeatedly ask you to hang out, see you about three times that day, and beg you to not leave. That is just who they are. If that is not who you are, tell them. They will have no problem backing off and giving you space, but the chances of them doing that on their own are slim.
Perceived as superficial and/or insincere.
Vivaciousness has become a synonym for shallow. Extroverts are just as capable of intellectual discussion and complex thinking as introverts are of talking to people. Extroverted people can be some of the brightest people, but sadly, not everyone perceives them that way.
In fact, they feel they have to prove themselves or highlight their education or career accolades to dispel negative presumptions. But it’s so important for everyone not make these assumptions. Communication styles are all unique!
Expected to start or carry the conversation.
Everyone gets anxious, and this may be a shocker for some people, but it also applies to the extroverts of the world. That doesn’t mean they have anxiety, but in certain social situations, they do get very anxious. Sure, they love talking to different people and keeping the conversation going, but it’s not always their job and are not always comfortable with it.
Just because you are gifted at something doesn’t mean you have to put that talent on display constantly. It’s no one’s job to keep an environment light and chatty.
Unexpected alone time is one of the worst.
As much as alone time is needed, there are few things worse in their minds than when you want to hang out with friends and everyone is busy or just wants to be alone.
Most of the time, extroverts have their alone time planned out and set aside. They know exactly what they’re going to do and when they’re going to do it. That all changes when it pops up at the last minute and they don’t know what to do.
FOMO – Fear of Missing Out.
This is one of the things worse than unexpected alone time for extroverts. They want to be a part of everything, but that doesn’t always work out the way they may want it to. Events overlap with others and sometimes it’s hard to choose what is the right thing for them to do. No matter what, they’re going to have fun doing what they’re doing, but they still hate the thought of someone else having fun without them.
Watching IG or Snap stories of their friends hanging out and doing stuff together can intensify their loneliness and FOMO. Given that they’re always required social interaction to feel recharged and at ease, they become a lot grumpier and have intense mood swings.