How to Accept Yourself

Self-acceptance is the ability to unconditionally value all parts of yourself. This means that you value the good parts as well as the parts that you think need improvement. The process of self-acceptance starts with acknowledging judgements against yourself and softening those judgments, so that every part of yourself can be valued.

Additionally, it is important to commit yourself to shifting your focus from judgement and blame to tolerance and compassion.

Accepting the reality of your life sounds like it should be easy enough. But many, many people hold to their own version of reality. There are few better things you can do for yourself than giving up the fictional version of your life and learning to accept yourself, your life, and your reality. Even if your situation is terrible, the first step in improving it is acknowledging it for what it is.

Here are 6 ways to cope with reality, especially the parts of reality you don’t like and how you can change it into a reality you want.

  1. Acknowledge your strengths and attributes.

Acknowledging your strengths, or attributes you value, in order to help give balance to the work you will do on accepting the parts of yourself that are less valued. Additionally, realizing your strengths may help change your conceptualizations about yourself.

Start by listing your strengths, or list one strength per day if it is challenging to think of them.

  • Acknowledge your reality.

Sometimes facing reality isn’t the easiest thing to do, but accepting your current situation can make you happier in the present and lead to a better future. Understanding, accepting, and working with reality is both practical and purposeful.

Acknowledging your reality will help you choose your dreams wisely and then help you achieve them.

  • Challenge your inner critic.

When you find yourself thinking negative thoughts about yourself, challenge and quiet this inner critic. Be prepared with a positive counter-thought or mantra. Remind yourself of your strengths.

Remind your inner critic that the negative statement is not true, but be sure to always be kind to your inner critic. Remind and teach yourself, because you are still learning to alter your thoughts about yourself.

  • Practice self-forgiveness.

Practicing self-forgiveness can help reduce feelings of guilt from your past which may be preventing you from fully accepting your present. You may be judging your past based on unrealistic expectations. Forgiving yourself will lift your shame and will give you room to build a new, more compassionate and accepting view of your past.

Sometimes we are unkind to ourselves by carrying around guilt. Take special notice of the guilt you may have. Try to evaluate if there were external factors involved in the situation. Sometimes events are out of our control, yet we hold on to those feelings of guilt. Evaluate if the actions were truly out of your control and resolve to forgive in abundance.

  • Practice self-compassion.

Self-compassion involves giving yourself warmth and understanding during difficult times or when you feel inadequate.

Some ways to practice self-compassion include:

  • Talking to yourself like you would to a friend.
  • Writing down how you’d like to help yourself.
  • Putting your situation into perspective.
  • Engaging in self-care such as meditation, exercise, and healthy eating.
  • Surround yourself with loving people.

If you spend your time with people who negate your self-worth, you may have a hard time accepting yourself. When people are constantly critical of you, it will be harder to convince yourself that you have strengths.

Spend time with people who are supportive of you and who love you. These people will give you the boost you need to accept yourself for who you are.

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